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My Thoughts- How I feel about him

Sometimes i get this crazy feeling. Was I/ Am I in love with him? I know i was because when i was with you i felt it and even now that its over i still miss you and i care about you more than anything and i still have that same feeling even know you dont. When i was with you i was so happy, i felt as if i could hold on to you forever and be in yer arms forever and never let go, you amazed me, you just were someone i knew would always be there for me and i never realized how much i needed you & how much I really did care about you until i lost you. If only you knew how you send my heart spinning every time you looked into my eyes. If only you knew how everything around me darkens, the voices all around me fade, and all I hear is my heart pounding. If only you knew how much you really meant to me & what really kills me is that I know Im wasting my time and yet I still refuse to let go. I cant take this anymore. I cant stand next to you without wanting to hold youu.... I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. But I couldn't allow another day to go by knowing and realzing that things have changed and that person you loved isnt going to come back to you... its over & its so hard because no matter how hard i try and no matter how much i think about things like 'he doesnt like me anymore and he just doesnt care, give up!' i still cant let go  and it sucks! You just mean way too much to me. People always tell me to give up and there are so many guys out there but It's hard to even thinking of being with someone else when the only person I want to be with is you. I miss you-- I miss yer laugh, yer smile, yer hugs, the way you used to hold on to me so tight, i miss yer voice, hanging out with you and just us being together, and just you yerself. I've always had these thoughts and feelings after being hurt by guys, but this one i just cant explain. I loved you, i miss you so much. It hurts to be with people who have another girl/guy with them knowing that you're gone and we arent together anymore and yer not here with me. Knowing i used to have you here with me, Its so hard! I gave my all to youu and i cared about youu so much. You gave me reasons to smile, thoughts to think, but most of all you gave me memories to never forget. & I don't understand how it had to end this way & why I feel so empty inside like everything I had just disappeared like I have nothing left at all considering you're gone and you've moved on while im stuck here in the past. But we all know that everything happends for a reason and whatever is meant to be will always find it's way. I was always afraid of getting hurt after some few experiences ive had in my life and ive realized that you have to take chances and risk things in your life even if you don't think things are going to work because in the end you never know it might just be worth the fall. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone gets hurt but you have to find the guy whos worth it all. I guess things just didnt work out and you're feelings have changed but mine are still there and still strong and meaningful. I understand that i mean absolutely nothing to you and i may never have but i want you to know you mean the world to me & no matter what I will always care for you. You'll always have some meaning in my life and there will always be a place for you in my heart. <33 I love youu. Y

I like never write in here anymore... so i think im done using it. But i might once in awhile if im BORED...i doubt it tho... Sorry babes  I love youuuuu!

HeY Sexiiieesssss! Sorry i havent updated in awhile... Monday- Friday school everyday..... Friday night went to the Football game... and we lost both but it was fun well then Saturday morning i went with Ker to the Freshman game and they lost 2. Then we walked over 2 my lil bros game 4 15 minutes and saw him play then we walked bak to the school and Mary picked us up and we got lunch and went bak 2 Ker's. Then later Brett n Wes came over we hung out n they left arounf 7 and we ordered pizza and i slept over there and we watched a movie. Today i dk what im doing yet.. but im out later babes xoxo love you...

<3 Stephanie Ann!*